Well – that’ll leave a mark.

Topic: Self tanning.

I have a show in two days. There will be stage lights. I’m whiter than a cue ball and it’s the middle of December. So I do what any ballroom dance girl would do – I self tan.

Yes – I understand that tanning booths are horrid. Then there is the risk of being an oompa loompa stunt double for 3-5 days. (Bonus – I’m also really short.) This is why I typically opt for airbrush tans (Thanks Groupon!) or the Versa Spa spray tanning booths. It’s much more effective than this. Trust me.

But I ran out of time to actually make an appointment this year. You’d think I’d have lots of spare time after micromanaging my diabetes, settling in at a new job, studying for my teacher training final, AND practicing two routines. Obviously I must be a total slacker.

Really though, there just wasn’t a good night this week to go in. Spray tans usually last about 3 days and take about 8 hours to “set.” So I have to plan a day or evening where I can be completely free of sweat, water, oils, deodorants, and soap. Generally evenings a better because no one really cares about BO while sleeping. Usually. (Plus this tan stuff smells.)

Why do I do this? Well, under lights with a fake tan, I’ll actually look somewhat normal.

Without a tan…

Okay, maybe not that bad.

So I bought a can of Tanwise from my local beauty supply shop upon the recommendation of my dance instructor. It’s apparently better than other OtC brands because you can see the airbrushed  color on your skin immediately after you spray. Fabulous. I’m always the girl who uses some OtC brand as diligently as possible, only to discover some “skunk stripe” on my arm. And then I’ll make the mistake of trying to fix it, only to end up with a darker outline around the mistake.

I recruited the hubs to help spray me down and then clean up the HUGE mess in the bathtub. (Seriously, that stuff got everywhere.) I also discovered why barrier cream is important on the bottom of your feet. Thank God it’s not flip flop weather right now.

I’m also really lucky I changed my infusion set this morning. Self tanning usually brings up a lot of questions about my pump and the infusion set. The techs usually ask – well – don’t you want to remove that thing? I disconnect when I get sprayed. But I don’t do a set change. If I change immediately after the tan, it usually leaves an awkward white halo on my abdomen as the spray doesn’t seep through the med tape. (I suppose that’s a good thing.) However, since I’m not due for a set change until Sunday, no one will really notice.

So now I sit and wait for my fake tan to make me look like I vacationed in Bali for a week, even though my Irish and Scottish blood would never make that possible anyway.

Oh – and I dance a bunch on Saturday. Ack!