Where Am I and What Am I Doing Here?

I’ve been asking this a lot.

And I’m sure you have too since I haven’t really posted anything in the last week.

I’m here… mostly. Like many, I seem to be experiencing a bit of an inspirational dry spell when it comes to content. That, and I’m just busy. But not really “fun busy.” The 9-5 job picked up a bit, but it’s simply busy work and herding a few cats that don’t want to be penned up. And since everyone is slammed and traveling, I can’t really justify blogging at my desk anymore.

I had my first real encounter, as an adult, with someone who knows of this great natural remedy/treatment/pill/thing that lowers blood sugar. I can’t really remember the name. It was loud where we were speaking and I kind of tuned out after she said, “you should try this… my husband’s on it.” <sigh> I’ll shelve it with all the roots and cinnamon myths that my parents dealt with when I was a kid.

This was after my rant about how the medical insurance industry is ruining my dreams of working for myself. Or just having decent insurance… which I kissed good-bye today. Apparently, you can’t have COBRA health insurance AND group coverage at the same time. So when my group coverage kicked in on the 1st, my COBRA was deactivated on the 31st. There goes my $1800 deductible. At least Medtronic just kept sending me supplies for my pump without charge for the last 6 months. I kind of have a bit of a stockpile in my home office. But my new insurance is terrible… just… ugh.

It’s also been an emotionally draining week. Between arguing with my mom about whether I should start searching for another job because I dislike the backasswards thinking and the fact that my talents reach beyond being someone’s assistant, but it’ll look bad on my resume. Insulting a close friend unintentionally thus causing me to rethink all of my interactions, both past and present, and wondering if I’ve dug the hole too deep this time. Listening to my husband’s complaint about the local weather and desire to move elsewhere and faintly considering it. Wondering if I’m just an emotional weepy mess because of hormones or stress or all of the above – which means my cycle starts again… and I’m probably not pregnant again… and how much longer do we need to go before we consult a pro?

On the bright side, I did learn today that it’s National Hug Day. Because the interwebz said so and stuff. I’m sure my problems may seem like mindless drivel to others with much bigger fish to fry. So I offer a collective hug to my readers for taking the time to peer into my reality, or, a virtual hug to console you if it’s needed. Or if it’s not needed. Or something.


6 thoughts on “Where Am I and What Am I Doing Here?

  1. Jessi says:

    You are not alone, I’m totally in the sameplace right now. Job, sucks and I want s new one. No baby, yet again, but looks like I have to see a specialist. health insurance, stressing me out to no end. Maybe all of us t1s need to throw what little money we have together, buy and island and create our own country without all this dumb stress of the outside world. If only it were just that easy. Hugs!!!!

  2. theperfectd says:

    Please fire up Spotify, find Cake’s version of “I Will Survive” and dance to it. It won’t solve anything but it will make you feel a little better. You can even hug yourself and it’s from me.
    Re: seeing a specialist. Depending on your age and how long, the rule of thumb is 6 months to a year of unprotected intercourse without a positive pregnancy test. (Or after two miscarriages – ahem.) Be prepared for the following – are you charting? Do you have a Clear Blue Fertility Monitor and are you using it? (It’s expensive, but it works.) Cycles, peak ovulation, blah blah blah. If you don’t have the answers, then they will make you go home and do it and come back. (Other people have told me this, as we passed go and collected $200 after two miscarriages sent us directly to jail – I mean a specialist’s lab…) Sorry… just turn up the music a little louder to drown out my Debbie Downer voice…

    • seejendance says:

      Re: charting. I am. Sort of. There is an app for that, which I tend to rely on. However, I haven’t broke down and started working with a basal thermometer because ha! everyone told me that once they stopped trying and charting and stressing about it, they got pregnant. Go figure. I’m trying to be semi lazy about it, but that ain’t working either. Ugh.

      There is a crazy new sound system in our studio and no one is there past 8:30 pm. I might take you up on that suggestion. 😛

  3. Scott E says:

    Well, if it’ll make you feel better, and it’s really National Hug Day, then consider yourself hugged!

    But if it’s not National Hug Day, then forget it. I don’t need a reputation of putting my hands around women I meet on the internet. There’s a delicate line that must not be crossed while on social media. (But I hope I’m still good for a laugh!) 🙂

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