Figured I’d check in since my first postpartum endocrinology appointment is in two days and I have no idea what to expect.

E is now a month and a half old! Crazy! I, along with the hubs, have kept something other than a house plant or an animal alive for that long. Her pediatrician says she is doing great and thriving. We get lots of smiles and coos during play time. And, knock on wood, we’ve been getting 4-5 hour stretches of sleep each night this week. (As opposed to the 3ish hour stretches I got during her growth spurt weeks.) We get her two month shots next Tuesday… right before Christmas. Somebody hold me.

We are still struggling with having her take a bottle so I can escape for short periods of time. Hopefully we learn that bottles aren’t scary soon because I only have a month and a half before we start dumping her off at day care.

The problem with the postpartum period for diabetics is that they don’t really tell you what to expect AFTER birth. Your life and time is dedicated to taking care of this new person who can’t fend for herself, so who has time for the regimented control you were chained to for 10+ months?

No one has really checked on my blood sugars since I gave birth. My postpartum visit was just a discussion of birth control methods, how my scar is healing, and if I’m experiencing any PPD symptoms. Well, that’s all important too, but what about the drops into the 50s and 40s I have in the middle of the night post-breastfeeding? Or… just whenever they feel like it? Or the fact that if I’m given the chance to eat a meal with two hands and sitting down and my blood sugars are in the 200s, do I still do that? Are my corrections still out of whack so that I end up finding myself elevated for two hours straight one day post-correction, but then plummet 20 minutes later? How many times do I have to put down E because I’m scared I’ll drop her due to low blood sugar symptoms?

Where’s the follow up for us? I mean – I am enjoying the break from turning in weekly blood sugar reports and tweaking my insulin pump every other day. But, I don’t want my A1C to suffer in two months after working so hard to keep it artificially low. This shit is hard – like I gave birth to two children instead of one, with half of an instruction manual. Parenting is instinctive – diabetes isn’t. Especially not now.

I am especially lucky that E isn’t the baby that needs to be held 24/7, so I’m hoping one day she’ll understand what’s up with mommy.