Army of One(derful)

Bean was awake really early this morning, so she enjoyed breakfast at home. (Usually, I pack a few of her favorites and leave them with daycare.) She was finished picking at her meal by the time I came downstairs. I cleaned her up and she played in the living room with Sesame Street (or, ELMO, as she calls it) played in the background.

I sip my (hot) coffee and down my breakfast. The coffee because I had another few wake ups by my Dexcom, indicating I didn’t give nearly enough insulin for the bedtime snack I had. Then, I woke up at 5:30 am to my Dexcom graph sitting around 161 mg/dl, so clearly that correction I gave at midnight was just water. Frustrated knowing that these fasting blood sugars are not acceptable during pregnancy preparation, I issued, yet another correction, along with a pre-bolus for my usual breakfast meal. (One Thomas’ English muffin light with peanut butter – every day.)

Just part of my personal routine in the morning; set along with what I’m going to wear today, going over what I have scheduled for the day, and how soon can I go back to sleep. But I haven’t even started my day and I’m already over it.

Maybe it was just “being a toddler” or maybe Bean sensed I was having a “life with a chronic condition” moment.

Soon, I had this in front of me.

Clearly, Bean has the right idea. I need farm animals protein toys friends and family to pick me back up when my day starts off shattered. And I have them. I don’t always recognize them properly. I should.

The struggle is something I’ve heard echo in the diabetes community. This is my own illness. My battle with my body’s functionality. I am an army of one. Don’t drag other people into this fight because it’s mine and mine only.

But, the battles are easier when you have support. Whether it’s a spouse, parent, friend, or your toddler’s imaginary friends. Sometimes I just need a wonderful reminder.


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