The Sweeter Side of Pending Parenthood #dblogcheck

So, hey. Howdy. Hi. I thought I’d check in and let folks know I’m still alive. I was prompted to write after I saw a Twitter notification email about #dblogcheck day and thought, “hey! What a great way to get back into blogging.” Turns out it was two four days ago. Oh. Oops.

I’ve mostly been hanging around a chat board for the last, oh, month and half, which supports moms to be and such. I’ve run into a great group of ladies battling diabetes in some form; whether it’s T1, 2, or GD. Since we’re all collectively due around the same time, many of them failed their GTT recently and have now been thrown into the depths, somewhat blindly, of metering, diets involving low glycemic carbs, and 2 zillion doctor appointments. Since I’m kind of an open book when it comes to advocacy (I did blog for quite some time before the positive stick test), I do my best to offer real world advice when questions come up. And in turn, I’ve learned about what current treatments are for ladies with GD and T2, and what’s safe for pregnancy. (For example, Glyburide sounds a whole lot like NPH – and is just as volatile. Ugh.)

Personally, I’m feeling much more pregnant now that I’m nearly in the 3rd trimester. My MFM is very pleased with how I’m progressing, but that doesn’t mean I’m not taking more insulin than I ever have for meals… and I’m only going to need more in the next 13 weeks. My latest A1C is at my practice’s standard for non-PWDs, so that’s gotta say something, even though my 1 hour post-prandials are not in their target range. Let’s face it… they probably never will be. But – I always come down. Since the blood sugars aren’t a consistent battle, I can focus on things like Target screwing up my registry, washing and folding lots of little people clothes and putting them away, what to do about my back pain and expanding ribs, and feeling my little girl try to punch and kick her way out of my uterus. (Bananas still make her go crazy. As does sleeping on my side… sweets… breathing…)

I learned that my pump can give a maximum bolus of 25 units the other day. I may have to get creative in the next few weeks as I gave myself 24 units to cover my meager breakfast this morning. (And was still 141 one hour after the meal…) I half cried, half laughed when my MFM changed my breakfast carb ratio to 1:1.5. She told me some of her other T1s were on 1:0.5. In the back of my mind, I know I’ll get to that point, but I didn’t think it would be this early. Or that I’d be lucky and it wouldn’t happen to me. For the time being, I dial in my carb count and blindly hit “Act” twice to start the bolus without looking at the final number. I think I’d just freak out.

I feel like the 3rd trimester is when things can start to fall apart or go really well for me. Currently, my MFM is dead set on letting me carry to term and beyond pending nothing else is medically wrong. It’s a little different than conventional wisdom which basically states that if you have diabetes, you are getting induced any time between 37-39 weeks just because. I would love to be able to avoid to pitocin drip and I’m glad my MFM supports that. However, the little worries in the back of my mind still plague me. The idea that pre-eclampsia can knock me off my feet and out of the game is almost as scary as childbirth itself. Mostly because it’s something that just happens… with no warning signs or ways to prevent it or avoid it. Being the control freak that I am, I don’t know if I could handle it. And bed rest would bore me to tears.

Am I still dancing? Sort of. Back in May, I started working on a short foxtrot routine with my instructor for a performance in July (last weekend). As those 10 weeks progressed, I just got bigger and my lung capacity got smaller. Run throughs generally required a 5 minute break just to catch my breath toward the end. I think performing the routine at 26 weeks was a good idea. Any later and I don’t think I would have been able to handle the physicality of it. I also can’t turn without feeling dizzy or faint. (Yay equilibrium issues!) My exercise now comes from very limited, light, social dancing, and walking. I’ll be throwing prenatal yoga in there starting next week – hopefully. (I’ve been having a lot of trouble sitting as of late.)

Tomorrow, the hubs and I start interviewing doulas. We’re headed to a local event where you can meet a number of them at once and find out if any of them click with your birth plan. Our challenge is finding one who will help me through the first stages of labor naturally, but won’t try to push his/her ideals on us (or my doctors!) if we need medical interventions or when I call for my epidural. And as a high risk patient, I’m all about getting this kid out safely and sanely… even if it means throwing my ideal birth plan out the window at the last minute. If that person happens to exist, I’ll hire him/her on the spot.

Am I having a “normal pregnancy” otherwise? I guess; besides the litany of doctor appointments, blood sugar readings, screenings, and limited real estate remaining on my abdomen for infusion sites, of course. I hate maternity clothes and how expensive they are and if I could live in flip flops and yoga pants, I would. (WHY do the cheap maternity pants not have pockets!?) Our nursery is done, for the most part – namely because I didn’t want to deal with set up and building things if I were placed on bed rest later. I haven’t really gotten a ton of “snide comments” or “helpful advice” from strangers. I still visit Starbucks for a latte almost daily. (Half-caff of course.) No bizarre cravings – except I do enjoy the occasional doughnut and weekly trip to In n’ Out.

I can’t believe how fast this has gone. I’ve got less than 90 days left. On the flip side, I have less than 90 days left, and I’m just going to get bigger. X_x

Here is a sneak peak at her nursery, which I spent too much time making matchy-matchy. I don’t care – it’s adorable!

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She’s Got a Good Heart – Among Other Things

As expected, Baby Meatball has no visible heart issues. I strolled into the Pediatric Cardiology department this afternoon for a fetal echocardiogram, which is fancy terminology for a concentrated ultrasound of baby’s heart.

After waiting for 45 minutes, being tormented by another viewing of “Frozen,” I finally got called back for one of the quickest ultrasounds I’ve ever had. After our anatomy scan, I got concerned that I’d be sitting on that table for hours on end while my kiddo didn’t cooperate. Today, she sat nicely with her chest exposed for the tech to get 48 awesome photos.

Maybe it was the pep talk I gave her yesterday. Maybe it was the promise of the banana for a snack later (I’m growing a Minion). Who knows. I’m just happy it was a quick procedure.

Friday Five – possibly more

Oh man, where do I begin? Haha!

1) That box of sensors I recently received is apparently jinxed. Sensor 1 – the one I blogged about, had all sorts of trouble, but managed to last about a week before it failed on its own. The really bizarre thing about it? It always petered out after it got wet. So, yes, post showering, I had no data for at least 2 hours while it “dried out.” But when it worked – it worked great. Sensor 2 was inserted shortly after – and failed 30 minutes later. Wow. I’m now on Sensor 3 out of that box, which will hopefully last the standard two weeks, allowing me to place an order as normal when I open my last sensor packet. I must admit, the breaks in the alarms was nice – but the sudden lows weren’t.

2) For those who might be asking – yes, I’m still dancing. Sort of. Definitely not as intensely as I was once. I find that I my stamina is no where near where it was, so certain dances and faster songs are just on hold for the next few months. (I swear I did one east coast swing song for 3 minutes and I was down for the count for a half hour!) I did compete in West Coast Swing last month for fun and had some great late night dances – but staying out until 4 am is just not possible anymore. (Was it ever?) Instructor and I are working on a small showcase piece for a mini performance in July as well – with many pregnancy-friendly modifications. (Who knew promenade could be even HARDER!)

3) On the baby front – M and I are moving right along getting the nursery established. My goal is to have as much ready by August in the event I’m placed on bed rest for any possible reason during the 3rd trimester. (Getting Pre-E is actually what I fear the most because there is no way to prevent it.) The room is painted; we have a crib and a chair… and a crib. Yeah – long story short, I ordered a dresser for the nursery during Memorial Day weekend and the vendor sent me a crib instead. The unhappy UPS guys did take it back and now I have to wait another 2 weeks for the dresser to show up. But – at least it’s just June and not September, right?

4) Regarding pregnancy blood sugars – I haven’t hit the point of no return with insulin resistance yet. However – that doesn’t mean the highs don’t happen at all. My MFM finally dropped my I:C ratio at breakfast to 1: 3.5, and it STILL wouldn’t cover my breakfast. So rather than drop my ratio further, I’ve decided that it’s finally time to change my diet. Sigh. I knew this day was coming. I just can’t eat carbs in the morning. I’m really glad my aversion to eggs was temporary, otherwise I’d be screwed right now. This morning’s meal featured a Level Life protein shake, a small glass of milk to get me out of the 70 range, and a fritatta with lots of veggies. So far, so good.

5) Our anatomy scan was last week. Baby looks great and is growing on track. All the measurements were within a week of my reported gestation and there were lots of kicks and punches. (None that I could actually feel, however.) And for those who were placing bets…

We’re on Team Pink. 🙂

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Look she even has excellent Latin turnout!

However – she is stubborn… like her mom. Standard practice at my hospital is to order a fetal echo for all pregnant PWDs. But since I started pregnancy with such a low A1C, my MFM said that if we could get good photos of baby’s heart during the anatomy scan, we wouldn’t need a fetal echo. Well – baby had other plans. When the head radiologist got called in to take another look at baby, she promptly flipped over and fell asleep. So – no additional, important heart photos were taken. Off to Pediatric Cardiology I go. Hopefully she cooperates then.

Happy Friday the 13th!

#DBlog Day 3: Pregnancy By Numbers

It appears I missed Day 2’s prompt – the Diabetes Poetry Slam. (i.e. Write a poem, rhyme, ballad, haiku, or any other form of poetry about diabetes.) I had a couple songs stuck in my head yesterday… does that count? No? Okay, I’ll humor you with a haiku:

Fifteen, wait fifteen
Versus the contents of my
Refrigerator.

<Beatnik snaps all around>

Okay, now on to less humorous items. Let’s talk about our feelings.

May is Mental Health Month so now seems like a great time to explore the emotional side of living with, or caring for someone with, diabetes. What things can make dealing with diabetes an emotional issue for you and / or your loved one, and how do you cope?

Nothing stirs up emotions like a pregnancy. Not just because your hormones are running rampant, but the mix of excitement and fear can make all rational thought exit stage left for 9 months. Add a chronic illness to the mix, and it’s a wonder how any T1 moms survive the pregnancy with their sanity.

I’ll openly admit to anyone that asks that I’m not having fun during my pregnancy. It’s not because of the morning sickness, or the body image issues, or the back pain, but it’s that I’m too busy dealing with numbers to actually enjoy “being pregnant.” Controlling my blood sugars is a chore now more than ever. Rather than stressing over nursery decor and child care, I’m worried about the 69 mg/dl I had one hour after eating dinner… and the pending 200 that will probably show up later.

Diabetes with pregnancy is all about numbers. Are they too high after a meal? Can you increase your basal without dipping too low in the middle of the night? How many carbs can you stand to eat without bolusing again because you think the 3 units you already have on board might cover it. (Sometimes it does… other times it really doesn’t.) The game changes daily… hourly. This is one giant math problem I can’t solve. And I don’t really think math is that fun to begin with.

Diabetes not only effects me personally, but those around me, and most importantly, the person growing inside me. And that’s a HUGE guilt trip. Usually, when a stubborn high plagues my afternoon, it only effects me. It’s my burden… my consequences alone. Now? It 100% effects someone else… someone who also doesn’t have a say in what this disease will do, despite my micro-managed efforts.

Diabetes consumes every ounce of this experience. At my 15 week appointment, I spent 20 minutes going over blood sugars, problems I was having with control, suggestions and ideas I had, patterns I saw, all while the Resident took notes for the head OB to review collectively with me before changing my pump settings again. She left to go find the head OB, but returned two minutes later and asked, “hey, do you want to hear the heartbeat?” We were both so caught up in the numbers game that we forgot about the real reason I was supposed to be there – to check on the baby.

So after all of this – why on earth would any sane, fertile woman of childbearing age with T1 ever want to have kids?

Well, this is my reason:

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Meatball at 12W

It’s hard to explain. I know deep down that my efforts, despite my fleeting sanity, will be worth it come October. The things like a nursery, shopping and the whole “nesting” thing will come along soon enough. I know I don’t have time to do a lot of things that I should be doing at this point, but I don’t feel it’s as important as making sure this kid comes out into the world healthy. And that end goal is important enough to me to keep a level head.

Hurry Up and Wait

Things I’ve said in recent past:

“I can’t wait to meet my kid in October! Is it October yet?”

“Is the first trimester over yet? I’m tired of being sick all the time…” (Note, this has now changed to is this pregnancy over yet? The nausea did not expire after 12 weeks.)

“Is this low recovering yet? I don’t really want another glass of juice. Oh – shut up Dex…”

“Why hasn’t this Super Bolus kicked in yet? 2 hours later and I’m still in the 190s.”

“Why don’t I have a bump yet? And all of my pants still fit?” (Updated recently to “When will I feel the kid kick me in the stomach?)

“I’m never going to sleep again comfortably again, am I? How much longer until morning?”

“Work is driving me nuts… is it time for maternity leave yet?”

“I miss eating real food…”

“Can I dance tonight? No? How about tomorrow?”

To me: “have you found out the sex yet?” “No – not til 20 weeks. Not until June.”

“This nursery isn’t going to clean itself out, is it? Eh – we still have time.”

Things I’d Never Thought About Until Now…

Now that my big announcement is out and I’ve been mostly open about my pending dive into motherhood this fall, the whole “pregnancy with T1 Diabetes” is really starting to hit home. And I’m constantly reminded about it every time my Dexcom BLEEEEEPPSSS with a low blood sugar alarm. This is a whole different ballgame, kids.

Let’s begin with why I haven’t been blogging as much as I should. Like every matriarch in my family, I’ve been “blessed” with knowing my child is growing inside me via morning sickness. (Scratch that – try “all-damn-day sickness.”) I’m on a collection of drugs that kind of take the edge off, but at 12 weeks, I’m still making good friends with my bathroom. (And not so good friends with food.) The challenging part here is keeping enough food down to keep my insulin needs balanced. Especially since throwing up dinner leaves me with an empty stomach and 6 units IOB. (Jamba Juice and I have become close recently.) Saddle the sickness with the ability to fall asleep at a moment’s notice and this blog is toast. (Mmm… toast.)

Despite all of the GI issues, my docs are relatively happy with my control. (HA!) They aren’t thrilled with all the lows I have, but I guess the alternative isn’t great either. (But I’ve had a number of those as well.) My medical team is actually just the high risk OB department that specialize in mommas with diabetes. They mostly work with GDs, but they are seeing an influx in pregnant T1s. (Right now, there are 12 T1s, with pumps, in the department and that’s the most they’ve ever seen.) I’m not doubting their experiences with T1 moms, but I find it comical that it appears not many T1s seem to use my hospital. Anyway – since my OBs are the only docs I see, they control my insulin pump ratios. Yes – the OBs. I don’t see a separate endocrinologist (though, there is one on staff in the department that I’ve met once), nor do I see my own endo until after my baby is born. The nurses on staff are all CDEs as well. Somehow, this works in my favor as I don’t have two different doctors giving me two different opinions on how my insulin should be working, and since all of my maternity care is 100% covered via my insurance, I don’t pay a co-pay. (That will come in handy later.)

There are some other finer points that I’m sure other moms-to-be don’t necessarily have to think about, but I do. Things like maternity clothes, for example. I can find some great deals on maternity pants online. Same goes for dresses. The thing is, none of these cheap pants have pockets. At all. Same goes for dresses, leggings, etc. Clearly, cheap fashion and pockets don’t mix and I’ll have to figure out something else for my gadgets. Or my favorite “issue” from this week – sensor and set placement during ultrasounds. I’m still placing my infusion sets on my lower abdomen because I don’t really have a “bump” yet. I needed to do a site change on Thursday, right before my NT scan and opted to re-place it on my left hip instead. It worked out because the set would have totally been in the tech’s way. Plus ultrasound goo and adhesives don’t sound like they’d play well with each other. Things like that!

Oye – is it October yet? I really want to meet this little bean who apparently likes sleeping upside down in utero and likes to consume all my food before I get a chance to process it. (Figures.)

In other news, I might start buying stock in all Orange Juice producers as I seem to go through 2 quarts every 4 days.

Ugh

Yeah, that’s pretty much my feeling this gloomy, Monday morning. I’ve now officially had a cold for the greater part of the last 30 days, taking a slight break for the Christmas holiday. But only barely. It’d all be fine if I couldn’t hear myself talk through the congestion in my ears.

Somehow, I did find time (albeit just a bit) to rest over the weekend and attempt to rid myself of whatever is lingering around. But, couldn’t resist trying to ballroom social dance for two hours straight on Saturday for the first time in… well, a really long time. (West Coast Swing is different.) But here we are, Monday morning, and I’m still supporting myself up with Sudafed, water, and hot tea.

My blood sugars have taken a turn for the unpredictable as since I’m sick, not dancing as consistently (or doing any exercise for that matter), and am now sitting in the last week and a half of my cycle. (At the very least, the ovulation monitor can give me some sort of idea of when my blood sugars are going to go to crap each month. The insulin resistance and odd-ball-ness seems to correlate with the new hormones. YDMV.) Guess we’ll see if the monitor was accurate at all.

Other things I learned this weekend:
– It’s not a great idea to rip out a Sure-T like you would a QuickSet infusion set. Ouch. The site still stings.
– The computers in my house are too new to support the Carelink Software. :-/ Yeah – that’s right. I bought myself a shiny new MacBook right around the holiday to replace my seven year old one. But – the Carelink software doesn’t recognize OSX 10.9! (Or Google Chrome… or newer versions of Firefox… ugh!) Since we’re predominantly a Linux household, there is no incentive to continue using Medtronic unless I want to fire up our old, finicky Windows machine. Not saying I won’t upgrade to a 530G in February, but the “doctor reporting” software that I might miss by leaving the company just became a moot point.
– The most accurate place for those Minimed sensors are the sides of my hips. In fact, I now have all sorts of fun marks there from being repeatedly stabbed with giant needles. Not really sure how to alleviate the scarring.

Lastly, the blog has a new look. It’s a bit too pink for my liking and I haven’t really given any thought to the one thing I can customize – the graphic in the side bar. (ANYTHING will be better than what it was. Yikes!)

/random

Friday Five: All The Babies Edition

It’s a new year and the first real Friday of 2014. (Tuesday, the 31st, was kind of a Friday… but only a fake Friday. I had to go back to work after only one day off.)

Here is a baby-inspired Friday Five…

1) Take note that I didn’t mention “get pregnant” in my list of things I’ll be accomplishing in 2014. While I hope to join the masses of mothers that seem to be popping up on my Facebook wall, I feel like making that a “goal” for 2014 puts too much damn pressure on myself. (I already have a whiny mother-in-law.) Besides, I think I made that a goal for 2013… and we all can see where that went.

2) New Year’s Day brought in 2 brand new pregnancy announcements, with many others sitting in their second and third trimesters. I’m not sure what my sorority sisters are drinking, but clearly it’s not the cheap wine coolers we downed when we were in college.

3) Speaking of – pregnancy is like buying a new car. You purchase a blue car because you think you don’t see them on a road a bunch but ONLY see them on the road once you have. I notice pregnancy stories and announcements a lot more now.

4) Based on a suggestion from Cristel, I bought a Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor. Mostly because the loose charting I’ve been doing hasn’t yielded any results. (And I just like data, damnit!) Basal temps in the morning only really fluctuate after ovulation, in which case, it’d be too late and I get up during the night too many times for my basal temps to be accurate. The monitor is supposed to tell you when there is an increase in hormones – thus starting ovulation and making you primed for a pregnancy attempt. If you don’t see any changes, you are probably doing something wrong. I was concerned I was screwing something up because it’s been 16 days of a cycle and I hadn’t seen ANYTHING change. Until today. Cool – I didn’t break it or have terrible luck with technology. Thank goodness.

5) The hubs is very excited about this weekend. You’re welcome. 😛

Happy New Year!

Why T1s Can’t Be Grouped in with GDs

I know what you’re thinking… duh, of course not. T1 and Gestational Diabetes shouldn’t really be lumped into the same treatment categories during pregnancy. Hell, since everyone is different, no one should really be grouped together period. But the methods are similar (counting carbs, maintaining a much lower average, etc.) so what’s the problem?

Since I passed my one year bloggerversary, I wanted to reflect on why I started the blog – a means to track my progress as an aspiring T1 mom-to-be in addition to being an athlete. Now, we still don’t have any positive sticks to showcase, which is okay-ish because my A1C could still use some work. (Still – I’d like to see SOME reward for my work at maintaining said A1C.)

The process to become a parent actually started very shortly after my hubby and I got married. While we weren’t planning to have kids that early on in our marriage, I like to prepare for everything really far in advance. I believe my old endo asked me about wanting to explore the possibility, so she wrote the initial referral to high risk OB for me to talk to someone.

A few weeks later I got a call from their receptionist. I explained that I was recently married and wanted more information about becoming pregnant as a T1 Diabetic.

“Are you currently pregnant?” she asked.

“No… I just said I wanted more information,” I replied.

“… Well, we have this class,” and she proceeded to schedule me for the afternoon session a few weeks later.

Class date rolls around and the hubs and I sit down in a small conference room in our HMO’s facility with 4-5 other people. Mostly women, but some brought their significant others/husbands.

First thing I notice – everyone is already pregnant in a variety of stages. (The one next to me was quite obviously pregnant, but I found out later she was 5 months along with triplets!) Then there is me, who is very obviously not pregnant.

Hmmm.

The class is divided into three parts: a presentation by the nutritionist, a presentation by one of the high risk OBs/Peris, and training. (Training?)

The nutritionist is up first. She talks about how pregnant women with diabetes need to think more about their food intake because high blood sugars are bad for the baby, but you still have to eat for two, etc. and so forth. She warned the class that the if you couldn’t control your blood sugars with diet alone, then you would have to go on insulin.

… Dear God, I’m in the wrong class.

So I raise my hand… “I’m already on an insulin pump, so what do I need to know?”

Nutritionist stares at me for a second. “Well, we’ll just have to get you off of that now won’t we?”

WTF?!

It was becoming clearer that I was in a class with gestational diabetics. Ladies that failed their glucose tests and now have to be more careful about what they consume and have never seen a glucose meter in their lives. Fine. I’ll deal, but clearly no one was thinking about that when they booked me in this class. Relax… you’re just here to get information.

Further into the presentation, the more evident it was that this nutritionist didn’t work with T1s very often. We moved on the meal planning and carb counting. We were each asked to total out the amount of carbs with sample menus and cross reference our choices with our allotted amount for that meal so our blood sugars wouldn’t be effected.

The dinner choice? Pizza. <sigh>

Moving on…

Next we get a visit from one of the high risk OBs. Now – my Endo warned me that the high risk department is very, well, dogmatic, in their approach to pregnant diabetics. It’s essentially their way, or the highway, which worried me because I am far from being a textbook PWD. Plus, my A1C was consistently on the higher side (for me) and I knew that wasn’t going to please them.

As expected, the doc had a “I’m not taking any of your shit today” attitude. So much for a supportive team. She went on to talk about the processes involved in getting blood sugar results to the CDEs and nurses, what late term appointments will involve, and the importance of keeping that baby healthy at the expense of your sanity. Naturally, she goes into birth defects and miscarriage rates to a room full of already pregnant and scared ladies. Awesome. Empathy is not her strong suit. Got it.

So I ask the question, “I’m a T1 who eventually wants to be pregnant but I don’t fit your ideal blood sugar range, well, ever. What should I do? Do I need to be off my insulin pump, as the nutritionist told me?” (The thought of going back to MDI was not exciting.)

“Oh no! We like insulin pumps! We can set basals to adjust for everything and we make you get into that range that we want.”

Yeah… I dunno about that.

Somehow my blood sugar readings came up, and I have no idea why? I was asked, “What was your last blood sugar?”

To which I replied, reluctantly, “412.” (Yay inaccurate carb count on labels and bad infusion sets.)

You could see her judging me like my number was 14.0% rather than the 7.0% it was. “Oh – well you can’t get pregnant with those types of numbers.” Trust me… I don’t like them either.

This is stupid. I’m never having kids.

The doc ended her presentation and asked all those still needing training (ha!) to either get the glucose monitor out that they received from the pharmacy or to leave the class and pick one up. The next section will instruct them how to use the meters and record the readings in the provided log sheets. All those with already non-functioning pancreases can leave.

The hubs and I left. Discouraged doesn’t even begin to describe it. I’m pretty sure I had written off the possibility of ever carrying a child to term right then and there. Clearly, no medical staffer wanted to work with me.

I still tried the “diet” just to see if it had any effect. At the very least, my blood sugars could always be better. But, my Endo was too conservative about me altering my ratios and rates, so nothing really changed.

I gave up and started looking into the cost of adoption for family expansion. It seemed the safest for everyone. Except maybe our checkbook.

My decision to never want kids naturally was put to the test in 2010. At the beginning of that year, my hubs was diagnosed with a very early form of cancer. The docs didn’t want to take chances, so they ordered surgery, 12 weeks of chemotherapy and urged us to bank if we ever wanted to consider children in the future.

No pressure or anything. 

Easy – I didn’t want kids naturally anyway. Oh, wait… what if I did? Crap.

Long story short, we banked, proceeded with chemo, and have since moved on, cancer free, with our lives. Sadly, my blood sugar control never really got any better… but, all for good reason.

Fast forward to last year. I discover the DOC, Cheryl Akon’s book on T1 Diabetes and pregnancy, and start doing my own research. I go back to my regular OB and ask for a referral to high risk AGAIN. (Her response to my experience in 2007… yeah, they shouldn’t have put you in that class.) I speak with an actual doctor, one on one, about my case, who also agrees that the class wasn’t a good idea. (Other than to scare me stupid.)

What did I learn from all of this?

Not all Ds are equal and shouldn’t be lumped together as so. If I had known back then what I know now, my hand would have been shooting up every 10 minutes, questioning everything. (Especially the bit about carb counting pizza…)

If you have GD, ask questions about their reasons and be your own advocate. It’s probably scary as hell, but no good will come from sitting silently (like all of my classmates did.)

Here’s to another year… hopefully with some positive results.

Friday Five

Some bullet points for this Friday.

  • I feel like I’m slowly deteriorating. Last night, I left job 2 early and seriously considered crawling into bed at 9:30 pm. But forced myself to stay awake a little longer so I could visit with my hubby, who I hadn’t seen since Wednesday night. Between wanting to hide under the desk at work and take a nap and the epic lows that just don’t seem to quit, I’m feeling rather beat down. In fact, our studio director, who returned yesterday from maternity leave, made the comment that I looked like I could fall asleep standing up. Yeah… I’d say it sucks to be a female every so often.
  • I’m at the point where a juice box, 4 glucose tabs, a Cliff bar with 18 grams of carbs, and 2 Starbursts don’t bring me out of the 60s in 30 minutes. How I managed to count the studio’s cash last night is beyond me. And when I felt safe enough to bolus for the added snack, I dropped to 56 three hours later.
  • Before you start urging me to pee on a stick, apparently early symptoms of pregnancy and PMS are very similar. Before I got put on the Pill, I used to get so sick, I’d have to skip classes. My blood sugar control wasn’t even close to what it is now. The only sure sign, I’ve been told, of being knocked up is that missed cycle. Which isn’t due yet…. But I really wish it would make up its mind.
  • To add to my misery this week, I got a phone call from my insurance company that my former employer was no longer using them and that my medical benefits et al were cancelled effective June 1. Turns out, my old firm just switched vision and dental providers, but somehow this got translated into canceling the entire plan. It should all be worked out by the end of the day, but that’s not something I want to deal with right now.
  • Today is also my last work day at the studio for two weeks. Hopefully I’ll be able to get some rest and work a more concrete schedule at my full time job… Which is proving to be an exercise in holding my tongue.

Hope this weekend is better. Happy Father’s Day to all the DOC dads and father figures and pet parents.